Team work makes the dream work

So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” - Matthew 19:6

When Salmond and I got engaged, we knew that we wanted to do a pre-marriage counselling course at our church. We both did not really know what to expect, but the course included a strength finding test. After the course and the new knowledge we gained, our relationship evolved into a whole new world.

Find your strengths

Strength Finder is a test that you do online. It helps you to understand each other's strengths and barriers. You do not need a partner to do the test - it is also really interesting to know your strengths in general, as a human being. Our minds were blown by of the accuracy of the test.

"Why are you doing that? No, we do not have to sweep the floor today."

These are some of the conversations and questions that created conflict in our relationship. We do not always understand the other person's strength, but with a little bit of knowledge, everything can change. I now know that for example Salmond`s number one strength is being deliberative - meaning he wants to solve a problem before there is a problem. Now, this can surely be a barrier in life, but it can also be a great tool to have. There is always a plan. Now I understand why he creates five page spreadsheets of all the different dogs and illnesses before we decide on getting a dog...

He also now knows that my number one strength is harmony. I struggle to say no and sometimes I will put other people's needs before my husband`s needs. However, he knows that I only want the best for everyone and therefore - no more conflict in that area.

This is only a small tool that works wonders.

My husband and I started working together a few weeks ago. We have had lots of heartbreak with my infertility journey, depression, moving to a new town and financial stress, but I can easily say that communication and knowing each other's strengths has made our relationship grow in all aspects. We have not had one argument. We spend 24 hours by each other`s side. That can be a little problematic for some, but we enjoy every minute of it.

Lean on people. Lean on your friend, husband, partner, mother. Life is meant to be spent with someone. Do not try to do everything alone. Like they say - two is better than one.

Give the test a try and see how your life moves in all the right directions.